Colombian Men are the Best

I’m currently collecting research for some upcoming posts on D.C, so I decided to take a break to address the most popular search terms that lead readers to my blog. Most of these have to do with Colombian men, so my blog will briefly be revisiting my days in Colombia. I am by no means an expert on Colombian men, but I think my time and experiences in Colombia make me knowledgeable on the subject. I think there are good Colombian guys and bad Colombian guys and I will try to offer my insights into some of the specific cultural intricacies of dating a Colombian man. So here it goes, by search term:

Colombian Pickup Lines: So many. Where do I start? If you mean Colombian pickup lines as you walk down the street, you can expect romantic terms such as: Mamita, mami, mamasota, gordita (fatty, but in a nice way), mona (used for whitish person) negrita (used for brown person), estas muy linda (you’re beautiful), estas muy buena (looking good), que ojos, Dios Mio (My God, what eyes!), que culaso mamita! (What an ass, Mama). If you are looking for pickup lines, rest assured…you’ll get plenty thrown your way, especially if you happen to be a blonde-haired, light-eyed foreigner, which pretty much makes you a beauty queen in Colombia. I am, of course, speaking from a woman’s perspective (a mona, gordita with a large culaso, perspective, that is)…I’m not too what kind of pickup lines Colombian women use on men, just that they probably end in –ito or  -tico. You can read more about my experience with Colombian men and pickup lines here, here, here, here and here.

Anyone have any other memorable lines to contribute?

Why are Colombian men so mean? I don’t know that I would use the world “mean” to characterize Colombian men. I can’t say I ran into all that many mean ones. Well, unless we’re talking about criminals…I did get held up by some mean guys on a bus once. In general, at least in Bogota, I found everyone, both men and women, to be overly polite. A guy could be telling you that he killed his grandma the night before but he would tell the story with the utmost politeness. If anything was tough for me to handle in Colombia, it was that politeness didn’t always result in action. What I mean by this is that Colombians will often agree to things (meeting up later, calling you, helping you out with something, hanging out, etc) because they think it would be rude to say no…but they have absolutely no intention of following through. This can be hard for an American to take. So my advice would be not too take it to personally when you meet a great group of people, there’s a great connection, you make plans to go to Uncle Pepe’s farm “sometime soon” and then you never hear from them again. I guess this could be called mean if you’re not used to it.

I would also say Colombian men tend to view cheating differently than American guys (they generally seem more OK with it) so I suppose that could be considered mean. I guess this is just part of machista culture. I know it happens in the U.S too, but I feel like it’s not as overt. Also, there does seem to be a lot of domestic, sexual and verbal abuse within intimate relationships, especially among less educated populations, but I don’t think I knew enough Colombian men well enough to call them mean as a group.

Colombian boyfriend: If you are an expat living in Colombia, you will likely find a number of eligible (and non-eligible) bachelors lined up to be your boyfriend. What can I say about Colombian boyfriends? I am perhaps not the best person to ask because my Colombian relationship experiment didn’t go so well, but I can say this: 1.) He likely lives with his mother; 2.) If he works for a company he probably hates having a boss and wants to “work for himself,” 3.) His terms of endearment and affection may make you cringe and if any American guy said these things to you you’d probably think it was a joke (you can see a friend’s post on Colombian corniness here.); 4.) He is gentlemanly in a way very few Americans are (although this doesn’t always extend to actually paying for dates).

Because my Colombian boyfriend experiment didn’t exactly work out for the best, I decided to talk to a friend who recently married her Colombian boyfriend (he seems like a good one) and this is what she said:

1. You will learn how to salsa, no matter what.

2. The success of your relationship is dependent on the opinion la suegra (mother-in-law) has of you.

3. It’s easy to get used to being called “Princesa.”

4. Maybe he’s not a “cheater,” maybe he won’t cheat on you, but chances are he’s cheated.

5. Learn to like cooking, because he’s certainly not going to do it.

Another expat friend who had a Colombian boyfriend reminded me that “Not everyone matches the stereotypes. At the end of the day, you’re not dating a nationality, you’re dating another person.” Wise words.

Colombian men are the best. As much as I love Colombians (I am one, after all), this may be wishful thinking. There are good ones, there are bad ones and there are mediocre ones. Like men from any other nationality, Colombian men have their good points and their bad points. For example, he might make you feel like a queen, except you may be paying for all the dates (Mi amor, tu sabes que aqui la situacion de trabajo es bien dificil) or he may be treating lots of ladies like queens (Amorcito, ella no significaba nada, tu eres la mujer de mi vida, perdoname). I find that men are men all over the world, some are just more straightforward than others.

What do Colombian men tend to expect in romantic relationships: In general, I found that Colombian men tended to expect more pampering and affection than American men. Women seem to be more attentive to their men (think siestica when Papito is tired, cafesito when Papito wakes up) I also found that Colombian men tend to expect their lady to look good most of the time (hair done, nails done, makeup, nice clothes) and looks in general are more important than in the U.S. I don’t know if American guys secretly wish their girlfriends took better care of themselves but have been forced into silence out of political correctness, but it was definitely more overt in Colombia. When I was dating m ex, he would actually say things like “when are you getting your nails done?” I can’t imagine an American guy even noticing if my nails were painted. Bogota is not the kind of place you will see women wearing sweatpants, unless they are on their way to the gym (and even then these will be exercise clothes, not the baggy American variety — and don’t be surprised to see perfect hair and makeup). I think co-dependency, emotional outbursts and dramatics are also more tolerated. This was a bad habit I picked up in Colombia that’s probably not going to go over so well when/if I start dating a non-Colombian. Of course, a Colombian man will generally expect complete fidelity from his girlfriend, even if he himself  is the world’s biggest mujeriego (womanizer) Otherwise, Colombian guys expect what any other guy would expect: Love, support and attention.

When does a Colombian man go to work? A great question. If he can avoid working for somebody he will. This may result in multiple entrepreneurial and business attempts, not all of them successful. In general, I found that both men and women tend to enter the workforce at a later age than Americans. You don’t see too many teenagers with an after school job, though I think this may have to do as much with an overall depressed job market as it does with Colombian culture. I did find that some Colombians would rather not work than take on a job that was “beneath them,” and long periods of unemployment seem to be more acceptable and/or tolerated than in the U.S. For the most part, a Colombian man will go to work when he finishes high school or college, though perhaps not right away. And I must say that I did notice that there seems to be a special breed of Colombian men who can never quite find a job that treats them right. This type of guy ends up living with his Mamita for life in pursuit of the perfect job. I recommend you stay away from this kind of guy (or at least avoid a relationship you hope will end in marriage) because the chances of him leaving his Mom’s house for the real world are very slim. What motivation does he possibly have to leave when she is doing his laundry, making him sudaditos everyday and treating him like the prince of Bogota? He knows modern Bogota women aren’t going to do this for him, so Mom is always going to win. You can read about the Colombian mother-son dynamic here. Remember, I’m stereotyping — this doesn’t apply to everyone.

I want to know about Colombian guys: I suggest you check out my “Colombian Men” category on the right. Also, hopefully the above answers have been helpful.

For more information about Colombian men, click here.



Categories: Colombia, Colombian men

Tags: , , , , ,

25 replies

  1. I read this post with interest as an expat who grew up in Colombia.
    If interested in further portrayals of Colombian men, I delve into the culture in my novel A Place in the World. There is kind Felipe, responsible Paco, not so responsible but fun-loving Jorge, quiet passionate Pepe – fathers, brothers, husbands and lovers.
    http://www.amazon.com/PLACE-WORLD-ebook/dp/B00BVDXUQG/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1364057357&sr=1-1&keywords=cinda+crabbe+mackinnon

    • Sounds so interesting! Thanks for the info. I will check it out.

      • Thanks! I’m checking your blog out too -I like your title. But I should tell you the novel’s main character is a woman ( not a man) who lives on a remote coffee finca and ends up running it. It was an excuse for me to write not only about the people but about the natural setting as well.
        Kindle is going to offer it for free on April 28th

  2. Well, I must recognize I am in a bit of a shock here. I am a Colombian born and raised man who lived in Germany for a while with a German girlfriend, many years ago. My first thought on your blog was “What was she thinking?”. Colombian men aren’t the best at all. We are the most pampered mama’s-boy tantrum-prone sick-jealous basterds on earth. And that is just IF we are truly in love and IF we can be considered dating material. In that direction, the single most important advice of all when dating men in Colombia is that everything is about social position, social position, AND social position. Education changes that a bit, but only if your “papi” managed to go to the Colombian “Ivy League” on academic merits or from licit money. I’m talking Javeriana, Andes, Rosario, and Externado, and I’m a priori excluding any guy not coming from top high schools in Bogotá, Medellín, Barranquilla, Cartagena or Cali. Forget all about the Colombian public education system: no way there, José. If you ever dare to even think about dating a lower-to-middle-low “working”(hahaha!)-class uneducated man I must say you were either too young or too naive. I was literally appalled when I read the first “mami” in your post. So sorry nobody told you to run away from the mami-ers as fast as you could.

  3. Alex from Colombia,

    Thanks for the comments! I did manage to stay away from the mami-ers, by the way. I find Colombian social classes and the mother-son dynamic fascinating as an outsider/insider (I was born in the U.S but my parents are from Colombia) and it’s probably something I will never entirely understand despite the fact that I lived in Colombia for 2.5 years. Have to admit I was surprised by your comments, especially coming from a Colombian!

  4. Wow!! I thought Caribbean men were bad.. I’ll think again about South American Men..

  5. Last night I had a date with a Colombian man, it was the best date I had, he was everything a woman can want I slept w him the first night he was irresitable and very passionate, he made me feel like a woman

  6. I fell in love with a Colombian man, he loves passionately and loves every inch of me with even more passioniately. His relationship with his mom made me love him more. He treats his mom with respect and although you guys say mamas boy, I say….beautiful! It does help that his mom and grandmother are both beautiful and sweet women who love me as well. I don’t care about the jealousy, I actually like that he wants me for himself. Colombian men are beautiful and kind. Your postings were informative and we laughed at them in a good way. Love that people can express their opinion without others bashing their ideas. Keep posting!

    Love Colombian Princesa

  7. Interesting, I met a gorgeous man, and I mean seriously gorgeous, on facebook. He is from Bogota. He has a good job and is very respectful. This is killing us both to be so far apart. Im Australian and he is willing to leave his country and live here. He admits that he is a bit jealous but I am a bit like that myself. I hope it all works out for us. Lots of adjusting I suppose will be the key to our success :)

  8. Hey, really enjoyed your blog and great that you took the time to write it. was at the same time as you in colombia, yet in the carribean region.

  9. It’s funny..I met a Columbian guy that was so into me, or so it seemed, very aggressive but cute in a way..of course, I found out he was married after he already got my number and asked me out. Good thing I dodged that bullet.

    • That’s kind of close, haha.

      • Haha! Yes that’s true. Either way, glad I didn’t get too involved. Do you feel that most of these men carry on simultaneous relationships? I get the impression that he would have probably acted as my boyfriend and just try to hard the marriage as hard as he could.

  10. Be fortunate that you weren’t involved in a relationship with a Colombian guy, most guys are not good. & you don’t want that headache! Yes a little depends on the culture & their upbringing, but mostly depends on their own identity. Majority of Colombian men are just plain irresponsible, womanisers, & drug dealers. In your post you mention that ‘politeness don’t result in action’, that’s a big red flag if a guy for example is telling you ‘I’ll pick you up’ & then just doesn’t show up, that shows you the character of the guy, or if he says he’ll call you & he doesn’t. Those actions are rude & they aren’t polite in any part of the world. All the slangs or piropos that you listed, men say that to every women that walks by or looks like a woman cause they want to grab attention. They aren’t truthful they just sweet talk way too much, no wonder most Colombians women here in the Stares don’t want to date a Colombian man. As I stated most Colombian guys aren’t good, maybe there’s just a few that are k hidden somewhere or sick. Yeah the social status matters, Colombian men without knowing English & barely working but living in a mansiion, I guess you put 2 & 2 together of what that means. It’s better to run if a Colombian men wants to date you.

  11. So I was in Bogota for a week and met this beutiful Colombian guy .
    We went out and on the second date I slept with him Bc I just couldn’t resist! And I liked him I must say.
    After that night he said he wanted to get to know me better but I swear he does not act like he is interested!
    I’m always texting him and seeking his attention. He would give it to me and be all sweet but he never is the one to reach out so we can actually know each other better!

    I have a feeling he is playing me and just wanted to sleep with me; or is it their culture?

    Should I pull out before I’m crushed or are men in Colombia like that?

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